Those of you who missed the Spike TV broadcast of the Melvin Guillard-Ronnys Torres fight at UFC 109 didn't just miss a very close three-round scrap, you also missed a chance to see Joe Rogan flip out over something besides marijuana, locker room meat-gazers, or the craziness of space. I refer now, of course, to an ice spill in the Octagon.
It's no one's fault, really, except maybe the person who decided to use a cheap grocery store produce bag in Torres's corner. The thing comes apart at the most inopportune time, and the result is a group of grown men trying frantically to clean up a large pile of ice while Rogan yells at them and a packed arena boos their efforts. The difficulty these men (or, as Rogan refers to them, "the goddamn Three Stooges") have in this task just goes to show how much more difficult everything becomes in a high-pressure situation. Try unlocking your front door while someone yells at you about what an incapable moron you are, or clean up broken eggs on the kitchen floor as your emotionally unstable girlfriend stands nearby and refers to the situation as "a disaster." Then maybe you'll understand.
Spilled Bag of Ice now has a twitter account:
"Don't blame me, @joerogandotnet! I'm inanimate, helpless to the laws of gravity! ...I was doing my job! I refuse to take the fall... Oh, poor choice of words..." -Spilled Bag of Ice, has a twitter account.
"Ok just finally saw/heard @joerogandotnet vs the ice spill from UFC109. Friggin hilarious. Brilliant stuff by Joe." -Kenny Florian
"Yeah. Real funny, @Kenny_Florian! I was humiliated! Think about that next time you need me for an injury or to keep your drink cold!" -Spilled Bag of Ice
"Everyone welcome surprise contender @spilledbagofice to Twitter" -UFC, they even have him listed on the "Official UFC Fighter Twitter Accounts"
@spilledbagofice We like the way you left everything you had inside the Octagon. That's what it takes to be in the UFC." -UFC
"Thanks, @ufc! I'm ready to take on whoever you wanna put me in the octagon with. Um... what are your rules on submissions via frostbite?" -Spilled Bag of Ice
"Hey Guys! Wow! Thanks for the love & support. I'll be back in the octagon! Gonna cut some weight so I stay in the bag next time! WAR SBoI!! ...Cutting weight is not a problem. 90 seconds in the suana (or 15 mins in a glass) and I'm ready." -Spilled Bag of Ice
"I'm clean, -aside from the occassional glass of Scotch I find myself in... & that time Nick Diaz put me in his bong." -Spilled Bag of Ice
"I'm pissed that @JoeRoganDotNet acted like I didn't belong in the octagon & now he's ducking me. I used to like that dude." -Spilled Bag of Ice
"Guys, I'm very happy in the @UFC. I have no interest in going elsewhere... plus I don't wanna face Fedor. That dude's impervious to cold!" -Spilled Bag of Ice
"No one can argue that until that cornerman pulled me off, I had Ronys Torres' back!" -Spilled Bag of Ice
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